How to Stop Holiday Perfectionism and Reduce Stress This Season
Breaking Free From Perfectionism This Holiday Season
The holidays have a way of turning the pressure all the way up. Suddenly it feels like everything needs to be just right from the meals to the gifts to the plans. We take on responsibility for not only how we show up but for how everyone else around us feels.
For high achieving women, this can quickly turn into stress, guilt, and burnout. You might tell yourself that once everything is done, you will finally relax. But the truth is, perfectionism does not bring peace. It brings more expectations and less room to breathe.
This season does not have to feel like a performance. It can feel grounded, meaningful, and actually enjoyable. That starts with loosening the grip of perfectionism.
Where Holiday Perfectionism Comes From
Holiday perfectionism rarely comes out of nowhere. It is often shaped by a mix of family expectations, cultural messaging, and early experiences around achievement and approval from a young age.
Maybe you grew up in a home where holidays had to look a certain way or emotions were only acceptable if they were positive. Or somewhere along the way you learned that being helpful, impressive, or easy to deal with kept things calm. Over time, those patterns turn into unspoken internal rules.
Add social media into the mix and the pressure intensifies.Everywhere we look we see perfect tablescapes, matching pajamas, and “effortless” joy. It is easy to feel like you are falling short, even when you are already doing so much.
None of this is a sign that you are doing something wrong. It means you learned how to survive and succeed in environments that rewarded performance.
How Perfectionism Impacts Mental Health During the Holidays
Holiday perfectionism often shows up as anxiety and irritability. You might feel on edge, resentful, or disconnected without fully understanding why. There is a constant sense of managing and monitoring everything around you.
Emotionally, it can feel exhausting. You may struggle to rest, enjoy the moment, or accept help. Small things feel bigger than they should. You might notice more tension in your relationships, especially if you feel like you are carrying the emotional load alone.
Perfectionism promises control, but what it actually creates is pressure. And during the holidays, that pressure can quickly turn into burnout.
How Therapy Helps You Unlearn Perfectionism
Therapy helps you slow this pattern down. Instead of asking how to do the holidays better, you start asking why you feel like you have to do so much in the first place.
In therapy, we work on challenging the beliefs that say you are only worthy when everything is done right. We explore where those beliefs came from and how they show up now. We also focus on healing the shame that often sits underneath perfectionism.
Creating a Calmer, More Meaningful Holiday Season
Breaking free from holiday perfectionism does not mean lowering your standards or letting everything fall apart. It simply means choosing what truly matters and letting the rest be good enough.
When you create realistic expectations and clearer boundaries, stress during the holidays softens. You feel more present, connected, and like yourself. And that is what most people actually remember anyway.
Contact Us Before the Holidays
If holiday perfectionism is already weighing on you, you do not have to navigate it alone. Therapy can help you reduce anxiety, strengthen boundaries, and create a season that feels calmer and more meaningful.
If you are located in Virginia, Florida, Mississippi or Missouri, contact us today to explore how therapy can support you this season.
Margaux Flood, LCSW, is a licensed therapist with over a decade of experience supporting clients in Virginia and Florida. She specializes in couples therapy, women’s mental health, anxiety, and self-esteem, using evidence-based approaches like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), mindfulness-based techniques, and attachment-focused interventions to help clients strengthen connection, build confidence, and feel more grounded in themselves and their relationships. , Margaux Flood, LCSW is committed to providing compassionate, expert virtual care for clients across Virginia and Florida. Her team also provides individual psychotherapy services across the states of Mississippi and Missouri.